Daily Grace & Truth Archive

Getting Home

2009-02-25T06:41:00.001-05:00

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. ~ Galatians 6:9-10 (NIV)

"I don't like walking this direction," Jill said as wet blowing snow caked on her eyebrows. "We could keep walking the other direction, but that won't get us home," I replied. We laughed and decided to pay the price of walking a cold mile against the wind and snow back to our house.

The weather has recently given some hints of spring, but today is making Mr. Groundhog look like a genius (not the one that bit the NY Mayor). I heard he saw his shadow, which according to folklore indicates another six weeks of winter, right? Well, we left on an hour walk in moderate weather and returned looking like Mr. and Mrs. Frosty. What fun!! Interestingly our discussion en route was a bit about how He (God, not Mr. Groundhog) makes all things new. Nothing like a visual reminder that Jesus' crimson blood washes us white as snow!

Yesterday a friend's message was the first of the day to chime in on my Blackberry, "I was prompted to share this with you today, 'Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.'" (Galatians, 6:9, NIV) It was a timely reminder, and a heart-felt verbal hug from my friend through the Word of God. It has been reverberating in my mind ever since.

There is much good to do, especially as the Church, the Bride of Christ. Crisis has always brought out the best in us, and crisis is clearly upon us. Today's Washington post headline was, "Swift, Steep Downturn Crosses Globe"[1], and the article contained this statement, "The sharpness of the global slowdown has alarmed economists, who see no obvious engine for recovery." Tough times are upon us friends, and it is time to do much good. Also, please don't let these headlines pass without considering that many are going to be offering answers that have nothing to do with God. In fact, the most attractive and destructive are likely to be subtle heresies. It is definitely time to bone-up on Scripture regarding end times so that we may remain and be found faithful.

Recently we have been amazed by the awakening of the Church to the preeminence and importance of our relationship with God. As long-held "securities" literally disappear, it seems that there is a fervor to nurture that which has potential to last. Peter explained it well to Christians under persecution in Rome when he said, "These [trials] have come so that your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." (1 Peter 1:7, NIV)

On our walk we simply wanted to get home. En route we did some good (exercise). Our journey of life is also a walk toward our eternal home, sometimes against the wind, or other forces that would oppose us. In the climate of the times it is essential that we not grow weary in doing good for others. Opportunities abound. The Holy Spirit will guide us to them and empower us for them, as we ask.

Prayer
Father, we have the privilege to live during an unprecedented period of history. Many are fearful and desperate for answers. We know that you have had the Word of hope, truth, and salvation for many generations before us and that your Word is good today also. Please make it come alive in us as never before. Speak to us, guide us, and empower us for the good that you want to be done. In Jesus' name. Amen.

[1] http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/17/AR2009021703101.html?nav=hcmodule

Bathed in Prayer

2009-02-12T07:58:00.001-05:00

February 9, 2009

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. ~ Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)

It was one of the most remarkable experiences we’ve had the privilege to be part of. Fifty-five couples from Long Island, New York, gathered for a day of learning and sharing about their marriages (on February 7, 2009). But it wasn’t the fact they came. Anyone can attend an event. The thing that made it remarkable was the spirit in which they came. All day long it was palpable: a sweet, humble, teachable, and hopeful spirit. How does that happen?

Gina and Pat McNally, the event organizers, asked for feedback at the end of the day, “How does this compare to other events you’ve done?” Jill and I felt the same, “The logistics and amenities were tremendous, very comfortable. And, the two of you were a dream to work with: proactive, attentive to details, first-class. But the thing that really stood out was the sweet spirit of the people. They were so hungry, teachable, appreciative, and humble. How do you account for that?” we asked. “It was bathed in prayer,” Gina said.

Bathed in prayer. We knew it was true. We’d been compelled to pray in preparation since the inception of the event in September 2008. Nearly every call and visit we’d had with the McNallys included prayer. Looking back, I can’t think of any facet of the event that wasn’t covered. Couples were prayed for by name, logistics, the name of the event, materials, and schedule. We were definitely “prayed up” going in, and it showed. A lady we didn’t know came to us before many others had arrived, “I have been praying for you and for today.” Wow! Humbling.

I wish you could have been there. Couples sitting across from each other, holding hands, and sharing intimate thoughts, feelings, and desires during breakout sessions. Self-effacing New Yorkers dispelling the stereotype I had of them as hard people as they volunteered shortcomings in their efforts as husbands and wives and telling how they wanted to do better. Person after person grabbed us at the breaks to say, “This is so helpful. We are experiencing breakthroughs that we’ve badly needed,” or “We’ve never been able to talk like this and it gives us so much hope.”

It was heaven on earth for about eight hours last Saturday at the Islandia Marriott on Long Island. Couples scheduled off work, arranged for childcare, and came with humble, open, and expectant hearts. They hoped that God would show up in their marriages, and He did. Now, we all sit in a bit of afterglow, praising Him for what He did, confident that He hears and acts on that which we ask of Him.

Prayer
Thank you, Father, for what you did and will continue to do in each of the lives, marriages, and families that you touched on Saturday. Please guard and protect every couple that they may continue the good work that you have begun in them. Please extend it to others with whom they will share and somehow let it be a ripple effect to many other marriages that they might be strengthened and healed for your purposes. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

We invite your inquiries about how individual couples and groups of couples might be convened for such experiences that will strengthen and heal their relationships. Call 301-515-1218 or write Jill@graceandtruthrelationship.com or Jeff@graceandtruthrelationship.com.

Sabbatical

2009-01-26T07:23:00.001-05:00

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done. ~ Genesis 2:2-3 (NIV)

Have you seen the movie Forrest Gump[1]?It is one of my favorites. Tom Hanks plays the role of a guileless boy who maintains his gracious, kind innocence even though he is marginalized, ostracized, and ridiculed because of his relatively dull intellect. The way Forrest engages people in a multitude of unlikely situations (e.g., speaking to a crowd gathered on the National Mall for an anti-war protest during Vietnam era) teaches, inspires, and causes a lot of laughter. It's definitely a classic in my library.

At one point Forrest inspires a multitude to run simply by running himself. Day after day he runs across the country, and day by day other runners join him, inspired by his example. Why did Forrest run? Forrest's response was, "I just felt like running." But the careful observer is able to discern other reasons that he ran. One was that he was working out the angst of his soul about the love of his life, Jennie, who rejected his love time after time. Writing for me has been working out the angst of my soul and mining the learning from God-given experiences.

It was after one particularly heartbreaking episode that Forrest's run began. Eventually, he stopped. Right out in the middle of a vast countryside (maybe Kansas) he stopped. "What's he doing?" the throng of following runners asks. Forrest response is simple, but adequate, "I'm tired. I don't feel like running anymore."

I've gone through all of this to announce: I'm taking a sabbatical from writing Daily Grace & Truth Devotionals.

Why? There are several reasons, but mainly it is because the energy of my heart needs to be turned toward a project that God has prepared me (and Jill) to do throughout my entire life and our marriage: The production of materials to inspire and motivate married couples to strengthen and heal their relationship to live more pleasurably with each other and more purposefully for the Kingdom of God.

A cloud of witnesses continues to speak support and encouragement regarding the effectiveness and importance of Jill and me multiplying the ministry that God has launched for couples globally. Stewardship of all that He has painstakingly taught us through participation in development of a community marriage initiative, involvement in several national ministries, and a two-year demonstration project of the effectiveness of a coaching approach to marriage has prepared and positioned us to articulate, package, and disseminate what He has put in our minds and hearts for others.

The project to which we have committed for February and March is to complete writing, editing, and self-publishing of a Level I workbook for coaching couples, and the writing of Level II. A beta version of Level I has been used during January for couples from every time zone in the U.S. and Canada and Asia. The affirmation of the power and usefulness of these materials by beta participants and the crescendo of a cacophony of other voices make it undeniable that this must be done and unconscionable to avoid.

I will probably still write some devotionals to share with you, but just not every day. As the Holy Spirit moves and inspires things to share with you, I will share.

It's interesting that God has given peace to make this decision after 18 months. The first Daily Grace & Truth was sent to six subscribers on July 23, 2007. Last Friday's devotional was dated January 23, 2009. I didn't realize the significance of the date until after I made this decision to take a sabbatical.

This is not an easy thing to do in some ways. You have become a virtual church for us with your humble and self-effacing response to devotionals and words of support and affirmation. Please know that we remain steadfast in production of messages He has given us to inspire and equip people for relationships. Would you pray for us? Writing is hard work, and we don't want to produce anything that isn't inspired. See me at my laptop for four or five hours each day, writing, rewriting, and stopping often to ask Father what He wants to be said.

God Bless,
Jeff and Jill

Prayer
Father, thank you for birthing this unique ministry of inspirational messages that has touched many we know and many we don't. Thank you for peace to shift our energy for a season. In Jesus' name. Amen.

[1] Forrest Gump is a 1994 comedy-drama film based on the 1986 novel of the same name by Winston Groom.

Tangled Conversations

2009-01-23T08:14:00.001-05:00

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. ~ Galatians 2:20 (NIV)

How often do you go along for days feeling positive about how you're handling stress, challenges or temptation, and then BOOM, just like a lightning bolt from out of the blue, you do or say something that you regret?

I've been on the road for seven days; the first two and a half were with Jill to facilitate a marriage retreat, and the remainder has been with a couple of friends on a writing retreat. I'm pretty pleased with how I've handled the stress of travel with different food, different beds, and a different routine. I think by many standards the trip has been a resounding success, but for one conversation.

Yesterday, Jill and I got our wires crossed in a conversation about a Marriage Coaching tele-class[1]. Since we co-facilitate classes things go smoother when we decide in advance who is going to be responsible for each section of the class. Ironically, our conversation about helping other couples to make things smoother in their relationship didn't go smoothly. Are you with me?

Twenty-three years of marriage, state of the art training in relationship skills and a global reach to help other couples, and we're not perfect. Arrrggghhh! That's the bad news. So, what's the good news? Well, when we do get our wires crossed, we know how to untangle them before the circuits blow completely. Specifically, we understand the combination of heart, hope, and skills that will clear up communication, assuage hurt feelings, and restore pleasure. It sounds easy, right? No. You know, it's hard work, but it's worth it.

After cooling off a bit, and both of us writing some of our thoughts and feelings, we tried the conversation again. I don't know for sure if Jill prayed, but I suspect she did, and I know I did. "Father, I don't like feeling like this. Please help it go well the next time Jill and I talk. I want to be connected and close. Life is hard enough without unpleasant tension between us. I'm sorry for being irritable and petulant. It's not my heart to hurt her. Please help me to convey my heart the next time we talk."

Here is the step-wise process of making things right that worked yesterday:

Stop the conversation when it isn't going well.
Use the time-out/quiet-time to sort out thoughts and feelings.
Pray.
Try to see and feel from your partner's perspective.
Try again.
Apologize if that's in order. At least recognize that your partner is hurt/upset and say that you are sorry for having that effect on them.
Listen, listen, listen. Don't just passively listen. Actively reflect what you heard them say[2], regardless of whether or not you agree. Hear things from their perspective, with understanding that if they have a problem, then you have a problem[3].

Life outside the Garden of Eden is going to be difficult. We are so capable in the flesh of making a mess of things. Let our guard down one minute, and it's off to the races of misunderstanding, hurt feelings, and division in relationships. While I've presented skills and a procedure for restoration, don't miss the foundation of successful relationships: A vibrant, moment-by-moment relationship with God through Christ and the constant presence and guidance of the Holy Spirit. We need Him more than every hour. We need Him every heartbeat and every breath.

Skills and procedures are great, especially when their use is guided and fueled by the life of Christ within.

Prayer
Lord, thank you for being fully present in every moment. Thank you for continuing the good work that you have begun in us. Please be more of our every breath and every thought. In Jesus' name. Amen.

[1] Coaching Couples, Level I is designed for couples that want to increase joy and purpose in their marriage, and to help other couples too. Whether you're motivated simply to improve your own marriage or interested in being more effective in ministry to other couples, this class is for you. For more information write to Jill.gtre@gmail.com, or call 301.515.1218.
[2] Write to us for articles on the heart and skill of listening if you'd like more information.
[3] This thought deserves an entire article. I promise to write it in near future. For now, let it suffice to say that if our partner is hurting, then we hurt too. And, we have responsibility to try to understand and try for a solution.

Building Your Credentials

2009-01-22T01:20:00.001-05:00

Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying, "God has lost track of me. He doesn't care what happens to me"? Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening? God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, they run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind. ~ Isaiah 40:27-31 (The Message)

I was severely disheartened by their rejection. Representatives of the two most likely agencies to have a position open for someone with my education said the same thing, “A bachelor’s degree in Psychology with no experience isn’t all that useful. We don’t have any positions available. You’ll probably need to go back to school.” The director of Human Resources was kind, but the program director of the other agency added insult to injury by scoffing, “You didn’t REALLY think you could get a job here, did you?”

I’d ridden three hours one-way on a noisy motorcycle (I had to wear ear plugs to ride it) to learn that I really did need to go back to school. I hopped back on my bike and returned to my bride in southern Indiana to share the bad news. “It looks like I’m going to have to have to do another degree if I’m going to be employable in Psychology.” Jill was disappointed too, but not defeated. My wife is hearty and has a lot of pluck, so we dialed our compass for Chicago, resolved to get another degree.

Building credentials takes time, and academic degrees are just a part of it. Development of character and competencies requisite to live our God-given life purpose is all about the experiences that God wants us to have to be prepared to do what He made us to do.

While talking with a friend yesterday, I bulleted a multitude of challenging experiences. He simply replied, “God is building your qualifications to speak to and help a variety of people.” Okay, I get it. But God, could we take a pause in the process of resume-development? As I write this, I’m aware that it sounds a bit like a kid from the backseat on a trip, “Hey Dad, are we there yet?” “No son, just a little bit farther.” Sigh.

I’m really glad that I went back to school after failing to land an entry-level job in Psychology. During the next three years, I had experiences and learned skills that positioned me to be a desirable candidate in both agencies where I’d applied before. In fact, I had my choice! The end of that story is that I worked nine years for one agency, and while I was there, I got to run meetings and make decisions that the director in the other agency had to abide by! I’ll admit that was satisfying.

These are my points:
1. God is allowing you to have the experiences you are having right now.
2. He has purpose for what you are experiencing.
3. We get the most from our experiences by adopting a learning posture of humility and teach-ability.
4. The development of character and competency cannot be hurried. Building your credentials to serve others takes time.
5. Hindsight will reveal that all the preparation and waiting was worth it; meaning that others will be blessed as a result of your obedience in the preparation process.

Prayer
Lord, thank you for modeling patience in preparation. You waited 30 years to be ready for the perfect time to do the ministry that Father sent you to do. Please help us to mine the experiences that Father wants us to have. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Keeping Great Relationships

2009-01-21T00:09:00.001-05:00

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. ~ 2 Peter 1:5-8 (NIV)

Yesterday a friend waited for me for two hours beyond the time I promised to meet him to begin a trip. Circumstances were beyond my control, but I still felt bad for inconveniencing him, especially when I learned that he missed one of his children's activities that he could have attended if he knew I was going to be late. When I finally arrived I apologized. He simply said "It's okay.” Simple words, but the way he said them was amazing. There was no trace of anger or resentment and definitely no indication that it would be held against me in any way. In fact, he sounded forgiving and kind. It is one thing to say or do the right thing, but quite another to have them emanate from the heart.

I think a key to great relationships is to live with a gracious and godly heart. So, what can we do to cultivate the kind of heart that even spur-of-the-moment responses to others are characterized by intonations of grace?

Since the Word of God contains everything we need for life and godliness[1], we ought to be able to find some answers to this question. Today, let's set the foundation of great relationships in the heart. Several passages of Scripture come to mind. Let's check them out.

First is a description of the mechanism of speech: From the heart through the mouth. Luke 6:45[2] describes how our mouths speak from the overflow of our hearts.

Second is practical instruction about how to develop godly, loving hearts. Second Peter 1:5-8[3] encourages us to consistently endeavor to cultivate godly qualities in our hearts with the promise that the result of such effort will be effectiveness and productivity for Jesus. It is fair to extrapolate that effective relationships are precursor to Kingdom effectiveness.

Finally is the famous love chapter, 1 Corinthians 13[4]. This describes what a loving relationship looks like. How many of yours look like this?

I've loaded you with scripture today. Why? It is effective in equipping us for every good work[5], including the work of keeping great relationships.

Here is the challenge I'm inclined to make: Look up every passage cited today. Ask God to speak to you through each one. Make notes in your journal about what comes to mind as you ask the question, "How does this apply to me and my relationships?" The ultimate result for you, as it is in my friend, will be the ability to react in a loving and gracious manner in relationships, because that is what is truly in your heart.

How to keep great relationships? Daily cultivate the living and active Word of God in your heart[6].

Prayer
Lord, thank you for your Word. Thank you for living the Word as the Word. I pray over every person who reads this devotional that they will surrender to the work that you as the Living Word want to offer to them today, even salvation if they haven't yet bowed their knee to your Lordship. In Jesus' name. Amen.

[1] His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by his own glory and goodness. (2 Peter 1:3, NIV)
[2] The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. (Luke 6:45, NIV)
[3] See today's selected scripture above.
[4] Read 1 Corinthians 13.
[5] All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17, NIV)
[6] For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12, NIV)

Getting Great Relationships

2009-01-20T21:12:00.001-05:00

. . . just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. ~ Matthew 20:28 (NIV)

It was a mountain-top experience. Six couples had relished a weekend of laughing, singing, praying, and sharing intimate joys, struggles, and sorrows. As the end drew near, a few expressed concerns about keeping what they gained with God and each other upon return to real life. A mild pallor of grief was palpable as our minds necessarily began to consider Monday.

Life is full of contrasts – mountains, and valleys, ups and downs, laughter, and sadness. In truth, we couldn't know one end of the spectrum if we didn't experience the other. Would it really be all that great to perpetually live on the mountain-top? How could we appreciate relational togetherness if we didn't know aloneness or loneliness? How could we enjoy vacation if it weren't for hard work? How could we know happiness if not for sadness? In truth, both the mountain-top and the valleys are to be embraced.

Still, the question remains: How to live relationally rich lives in the valleys? I think the answer is the same regardless of whether you are seeking to form such relationships or to maintain them once you have them.

Five keys come to mind:

Vulnerability – Be willing to expose your real self as a prerequisite to others making themselves vulnerable to you.
Transparency – This is related to vulnerability. Be willing to share your honest thoughts and feelings with others. This is a key ingredient for intimacy in any relationship.
Service – Look for opportunities to give to others according to their needs. Everyone has needs. Think beyond material things. Consider the needs of being heard, affirmed, valued, and appreciated. It isn't difficult to learn the heart and skill of listening. [1] It is also relatively easy (and free) to speak genuine words of appreciation.
God-pleasing vs. man-pleasing – Speak truth in love. The lesser ethic is to avoid this out of fear of offending, but perfect love drives out fear. Love never fails and truth liberates. Together they are an unbeatable combination; the most potent nutrition available. Consider the Word of God. The entirety is truth spoken in love.
Persevere – Never give up your pursuit of healthy, nurturing, pleasurable, and life-giving relationships with others. God didn't give up on us. Instead, He sacrificed tremendously for the opportunity for relationship. Others are waiting to be pursued, and there are some who God has ordained to meet someone just like you. Will you cooperate?

We yearn for all of you to have and keep life-giving relationships. If you don't have them, you can get them. If you have them, you can keep them. Please don't settle. The full life may be just around the next bend in the road.

Prayer
Lord, we know that you are all about relationships. Thank you for giving us everything we need to have right relationship with you. Please give us wisdom to extrapolate what we have with you to others. In Jesus' name. Amen.

[1] Grace & Truth teaches classes in listening, asking, setting goals, and supporting growth and change for couples. Concepts and skills apply to all relationships. Write or call for more information.

Sitting In Sacred Moments

2009-01-19T09:48:00.000-05:00

They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. ~ Acts 2:42-47(NIV)

Jill and I [1] have been with couples on retreat to focus on their marriages this weekend. It has been a remarkable experience; one surprise after another as Holy Spirit has prompted honest confiding and healing moments. My few words here don’t begin to describe the miraculous breakthroughs of understanding, hope and healing that have come straight from Heaven.

In preparation to facilitate such events, we usually pray a good bit. But I can’t remember the last time we were prompted to pray and listen for Father’s instructions as much as this. It is now clear why. He wanted to visit this group, and needed us to be prepared to cooperate by remaining flexible to His directions as Master of Ceremonies.

Two things have been most encouraging. One is that everyone present has been ministered to in some way. Each participant has shared openly, and been prayed for and/or specifically encouraged by others. The second big takeaway for me is how each person in the group has participated according to their unique gifts and personality.

The setting for this retreat has been a beach house in Virginia, but what has happened here can happen anywhere. As we’ve worshipped, and soaked in love and encouragement from Father, Son, Holy Spirit and each other, I’ve thought how this experience reflects the experience of the early Church which met in homes. “If this is what it was like, with lingering fellowship, laughter, open sharing, and impromptu sessions of worship, confession, prayer, etc. then no wonder Christianity spread throughout the world so rapidly and effectively. This is good!”

While this retreat was designed to impart information about how to strengthen marriage, I suspect that participants’ takeaways are going to be less about what they learned, and more about what they experienced in their marriages and friendships. Good. If that’s the case then we will have done our part well. Relationship skills are helpful, yes, but only in so much as they are applied to effectively open and hold hearts willing to take risks toward the potential reward of deeper connections and bonds in relationship. That’s the way it should be with focus on relationships as the primary focus, and tools and information in the background.

How do you feel in response what I’ve written about today? Are you celebrating that you, too, have relationships like this? Or are you sad that you don’t? Tomorrow I’ll continue on this topic to explore specifics about how to get it. Meanwhile, if you want ideas, or our participation in such retreats or gathering, give drop a note or give us a call. We would love to encourage you by sharing ideas.

Prayer
Father, it is clear that you created us for relationship, with you and each other. Please provide the perfect arena of relationships for us to give and receive what you have for us. We need your grace and truth which you deliver not just by your word and your spirit, but also through others. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

[1]Porter and Joanie Shellhammer have co-facilitated this retreat. Read more about their ministry at http://lovingeachother.homestead.com.

Man In The Middle Revisited

2009-01-16T09:22:00.002-05:00

"If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him-work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won't listen, tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love." ~ Matthew 18:15-17 (MSG)

SOME POINTS WORTH PONDERING

If none of you read these, I still might write. Why? It is a therapeutic outlet of thoughts and feelings. But more than that, it is a discipline that necessitates reflection and prayer, which helps me to grow in relationship with God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit.

And there's more. Notes from some of you are magnificent. You evince tremendous spiritual maturity, eloquence, and wisdom that teaches me and challenges me.

Below is one such response. The author is Dave Dillon, a remarkably thoughtful and humble servant, so humble he'll certainly chastise me with a frown for mentioning his name. But, I want you to know him and pray for him by name because he is one who continues to diligently work out his faith in the real world in ways that bless many. Pray now to hear his heart:

(Jeff,) Thank you for another stimulating meditation. You posed three examples of potentially familiar thoughts that helped me remember a recurring thought that I have after something grates on me. I say something like this to myself: "I'm not going to respond to that [remark, action]. [This person] is too important to me to let this bother me." It is a gift of grace from me to the other person, just as I receive similar grace gifts every day.

This leads me to suggest that there is a tacit threshold associated with the method of Matt. 18. Some level of offenses do not measure up to the Matt 18 procedure and should be ignored, pushed away, forgiven and forgotten. 1 Cor. 13 seems to say something like that: "... [love] is not easily angered, it Keeps No Record Of Wrongs. ... It always protects .... 1Cor. 13:5-7 (NIV, emphasis mine)

My Greek dictionary says this about "protects":

"G4722, stego; a prim. word; to cover closely (so as to keep water out), generally to bear up under."

That is, as I see it, love wraps the beloved in a kind of Saran wrap to seal out the corrosive seawater of my anger and resentment.

This is not to say that Matt 18 has no place in marriages, only that some things are not worth the aggravation.

The significant question is where to draw the threshold? What do you think? . . . another something to discuss at our coffee.

Regards, Dave Dillon

P.S.: If I am not going to keep a record of wrongs, then I cannot trot out these minor offenses while dealing with other, more significant ones!

Prayer
Lord, it is reassuring that you have given us your Holy Spirit to counsel us with your wisdom through life's challenges. Thank you for continuing to teach us as we work out our faith in daily life. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Positioned For Success

2009-01-15T06:25:00.000-05:00

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. ~ John 14:27 (NIV)

The Chinese symbol for crisis is a combination of the words “danger” and “opportunity.” Thus, crisis is a “dangerous opportunity”. Which are you seeing more of in your world?

Financial optimists are finding ways to prosper in the midst of global economic crisis. They see opportunities everywhere, and they are striking while the iron is hot. I continue to be amazed by the creativity of marketers to stimulate buying: reduced-prices, increased warranties, etc. There is no doubt that some are prospering in a down-turned economy.

As I hear about and see people around me “prospering,” I find myself wanting a piece of the pie. And, I have an urge to ask them to take me along with them. Several times, I’ve resisted the urge to put myself at the front of the line by reminding them that I should be their first hire once their company or project becomes successful. But, a quiet voice keeps telling me to sit still, “They know what you’re about and what you can do. More importantly, I know, and I’m already working on it.”

What is the balance between responsible representation and quiet trust? How do you know when to speak up and when to speak upward (as in silent prayer toward Heaven)?

Several years ago I was negotiating with a ministry to develop a subsidiary company that I would run. Things looked good except for a few flags that arose during our talks. My leadership coach asked why I was considering compromising two of my values. “Because it would put me in a position to influence others for good, and it would provide sorely needed income,” I replied. His response is one that I will always remember, “How would it affect your negotiations if you received a call from God just before your final negotiations in which He said, ‘I will give you the influence I want you to have when I want you to have it, and I will release all the provisions I want you to have when I want to.’” As I considered the truth of this, I experienced peace. I was free to decide my conscience. It was me, not God who was considering a compromise.

Let’s stop the story there to ponder a question. Who has control of our future? I think that most of us would respond that God is in control. If we believe that, how does it affect our actions?

Where are you resting in Him, and where are you anxiously straining to make something happen? When to act and when to wait is the million dollar question for many right now.

Here is my suggestion: Regularly put yourself in position to hear from God. Listen in prayer, fast, meditate, and get quiet. Whatever you have to do to get in a listening position, do it. Then, when He says act, act. When He says wait, wait. He knows the plans He has for you. They are good, and you will prosper. He will open the doors that are good and close those that aren’t.

Prayer
Lord, please help us to value the fact that you give us different things than the world gives. Please help us to understand your definition of success and your definition of good. Please give us peace that we may not only know, but also act like you are in control. In Jesus’ name. Amen.